It's not always easy to know how to respond when someone we care about has been affected by sexual misconduct. The truth is, there is no one-size-fits-all response. Your support at a time like this can be extremely helpful to a survivor. We encourage you to be as supportive and non-judgmental as possible. Your response significantly impacts if they feel validated and/or seek help.
If someone shares their experience with you, you can show support for survivors through STRIVE.
S |
Start by believing. | Believe the person's experience. Don’t question or minimize what the survivor tells you. It's important to recognize the impact on the survivor. Something that seems minor to you might be harmful to the survivor. It is very common for survivors to blame themselves, but the blame rests squarely and only with the person who chose to harm them. |
T |
Talk less, listen more. |
Let them know you want to listen. Listening looks like:
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R |
Respect Survivors' Decisions |
Every survivor’s experience and healing journey is unique. Respect their concerns and their choices. Give the survivor control and autonomy. |
I |
Inform survivors of resources |
Survivors do not have to navigate healing on their own. Help the survivor process by exploring resources and options, offering to accompany them to meetings, and finding other ways to increase their safety. |
V |
Validate survivors' responses | There is no “right” way for a survivor to respond. A survivor may feel many emotions: numb, sad, angry, in denial, terrified, depressed, agitated, withdrawn, etc. A survivor’s reactions, wants, needs, and feelings might change over time. Be patient with them. |
E |
Empower with Empathy |
Empathetic support is an attitude of acceptance of all feelings, an atmosphere of warmth and safety. Be there for them. Try to understand what they are going through. Check in and be a source of support. |